Having my dogs back was incredible. It was a feeling i couldn’t describe. I was supposed to be studying for my exam but at this point we still didn’t have a/c and it was getting stuffy in the house. A front was blowing in. It was warm and sunny. A fierce and wild wind blew the mailbox and plant pots about the yard. It crashed the wind chimes together and made the telephone and power lines dance. I brought my notebook outside and sat down in the dirt in the dog run. I knew i could only do this in the winter or very early spring. Otherwise the ground would be crawling with ants and scorpions. It was a thing i could only get away with during the colder months. There wasn’t a bug in sight. They were all underground, despite the warm front. I took off my shoes and placed my feet in the dirt. It made me feel grounded. I felt better. I sat in the dirt and the dogs sat with me. I listened to the wind rattle through the trees. It made an eerie sound, almost like wind traveling through a metal tunnel. Having grown up in the city, i was fascinated by and never tired of this noise. I was hearing the wind whistle through a multitude of trees, not just rattle leaves on one tree, but move through acres of trees to get to where i was. It was a different noise that was like music to my soul. It meant that i was surrounded…right where i wanted to be.
I thought about the trees, how i viewed them as good company. The trees creaked and rustled in the wind. It was as if they were talking softly amongst themselves, but even on still days, i found them to be better company than humans. I knew on some subconscious level i viewed them as peers and others viewed them as the landscape. I knew this was not normal, but i never professed to be normal. I enjoyed the company of the trees, the music of the wind, and the antics of the dogs and song birds. I was having a peaceful, grounded day and in that moment, experiencing it seemed more important than anything else i could be doing with my life.
That being said, i did manage to read through my notebook and memorize all the material for the written part of the exam by nightfall.
I was surprised to see that my toes left tracks just like any other animal when i wasn’t wearing shoes. I think some part of me was more animal than participant of society, but the human bit of me realized that if i didn’t participate in society i would have no land upon which to sit barefoot in the dirt.