Oashni

This fawn is a very well behaved one. She or he does whatever its mother says. It is the appropriate amount of timid and it is a good hider. Things between myself, the dogs, Oashni, and Sula went off the rails right from the morning of day 2.

Sula appears to be at her most maternal and particularly attached to this fawn. Ive come to the conclusion that one of two things may be happening. Either she’s jacked on hormones or this is a completely different deer that i am just calling Sula because she gave birth in the spot that Sula usually uses. Either way, things went so far off the rails that the symbiotic relationship between myself and the white tailed deer in the area has ended. Historically, the company that makes my chicken feed doesnt crack enough of the corn it uses. Many pieces actually end up whole. The chickens cant and wont eat this, so they throw it about everywhere. The deer eat it so i dont have to worry about doing anything with it, either picking up the kernels or cutting down the stalks that sprout when it rains. They also claim the area for themselves, discouraging axis deer from inhabiting the property. This is good as i dont want the axis deer here. They travel in herds of 40 rather than 6 and they eat everything and i do mean absolutely everything. Historically Cashew’s marking the property with urine has deterred the coyotes from coming near to grab a chicken or a white tailed fawn. I believe her marking and barking are the two things that keep Sula bringing her babies back and hiding them in the grass on our property year after year. People tell me, “oh she’ll move her baby in a day or so.” But historically this is not what Sula does. She’ll raise the fawn to adulthood here, using this as daycare while she goes out to forage.

Day 2 i was in the shower during the wee hours of the morning getting ready for work when i heard barking. The dogs were barking at something. We lived in the woods and it was dark out. Big woop. I figured it could be anything from a field mouse to a possum or an armadillo. They bark at everything and absolutely everything is out at that hour. As i finished up in the shower and stepped out i noted that the dogs had been barking for quite a while now, not just a few times at a passing animal in the dark. I became increasingly concerned when i realized the barking became louder and then softer, louder and then softer. It appeared to my ears as if they were chasing something back and forth on the property. I wondered if they were even still in the dog run. I hurriedly dried and threw some clothes on before grabbing a head lamp to go see what the heck was going on out there.

when i made it to the dog run both dogs were in it. Only Cashew was still in the game. Sili was completely out of breath and could barely walk. Cashew was hyperventilating, warm, and covered in spittle. She had been running back and forth in an absolute feral frenzy and worked herself into a real state of hysteria plastering saliva all over her fur each time she barked. I wanted to know what in tarnation was going on. Just then i saw Sula running back and forth against the fence. She was tireless. She didnt seem at all out of breath. She gracefully leapt back and forth with her long legs and Cashew ran like a maniac back and forth to chase her on the inside of the fence. I called Cashew away from the deer but she wouldnt listen to me. Sili was struggling to stand and so i felt i had a bigger problem on my hands. I left Cashew to follow the deer while i went back to the house and grabbed the leash. So there we are in the dark at about 4 am, i have a leash around Sili’s neck and im trying to coax my older arthritic dog who clearly overdid it and may have or may not have torn or broken something in the process, up the stairs to the porch and in the background my younger crazy dog has fully taken the bait and is letting a deer run her to death after fully watching it do just that to her newly crippled sister. All bravery, no brains. She’s barking her head off and im alternating between telling sili “come on, up, lets go, you can do it…” and telling cashew, “leave it. Leave it cashew! Leave it you *** ****** ********* ******** dog!” The deer is snorting and stamping its foot in between runs. Occasionally it head butts the fence lightly but this more riles Cashew into chaos than acts as a fighting move as there is a fence between them and the deer is not exerting much effort. Its a tap more than it is a collision.

As soon as i get Sili inside i leave her on the floor and go back to retrieve my remaining functional dog before she is rendered useless as well. I march into the dog run with a bone to pick with miss *i dont have to listen to mom*. I am your mother and you most certainly still have to listen to me when i tell you to do something, deer or no deer. In my most menacing of voices that let her know under no circumstance was i playing at this point in time i called her name and told her to get her butt over here and leave the ******* deer NOW.” My voice echoed through the woods. Cashew was gearing up to spring after the deer again as it ran along the fence-line when she heard the word “now”, did an about turn, and trotted over. The deer gave the fence a little head butt as she began a timid sit in front of me at which time she turned her head and those back legs went to launch but i had already grabbed a hold of her collar and jerked her to me. I put her head down to the ground and i squatted beside it. In a very quiet voice through gritted teeth i said, “do you not know when an animal is running you to death so you are out of the picture? Are you that stupid that you’ll take the bait and dissolve into a drooling sniveling sweaty mess when she’s gliding through the night like an unbothered swan? Get in the ******* house and dont talk to me about this deer any more. Do you understand?” I looped the leash around cashew’s head and she dutifully marched to the front door where i let her in.

This deer was not done. When the dogs were inside she decided i had to go as well. Now i was livid. I ******* pay the mortgage on this property. I wasnt negotiable to go. I owned the land. Who did this ******* deer think she was? She followed me through the darkness as i locked up the dog run, took in the water bowl, and fed and watered the chickens. She would wait until my back was turned and them run up and try to kick me. She would stay about two to fifteen feet from me until i appeared occupied and then run up on me and kick. I had had enough of this deer at this point. I didnt understand why she was behaving in this manner. I was unsure if the fawn had been near the dog run or in the dog run. I was unaware if the dogs had injured or killed the fawn in some way. It was just too dark to see what i had missed while i was in the shower. I went with the head lamp and looked around the dog run. I examined both dogs for blood. There was no blood on anybody’s fur. I found no remains in the dog run. For whatever reason the doe had gotten it in her head that myself and the dogs were a threat to her baby and we had to be ridden off. It was here that i came up with the theory that this doe might not be Sula who had historically been standoffish towards humans and a very patient and unexcitable mother. It didnt matter whether this doe was Sula or another doe. The fact of the matter was that the symbiotic relationship between my dogs, myself, and the white tailed deer had dissolved that morning and i was aware it wouldnt likely exist again. I was never again going to view a newborn fawn as a sweet blessing to witness. It would now be a *hell no* kind of liability that i would chase off the property immediately upon discovering.

I wasnt quite as stupid as my dog. I fended the doe off with a shovel while i did my chores but eventually i needed to load the car, something the deer was not down with. I went inside and grabbed the car keys. I was tired of being chased by this hormone crazed deer and running at her with a shovel screaming like a viking in battle while she tried to kick me. I got into the car and started it up. I rolled down the window and spotted her to my left about ten feet from the car. She stamped her foot. I took it out of park, turned the wheel, and floored it. I chased her around the yard in the suv while she ran in circles. In the headlights i just followed her hind legs and white tail. She eventually took off into the woods. I would drive back to the porch light of the house and wait, foot on the brake and in drive. She would emerge shortly and make a run at the car. I would then chase her in circles once more. I did this for a good twenty minutes before i drove her into the woods, put it in park, got out the car and chased her completely off my property onto the access road while screaming and wielding a shovel. I hurried back to the car, got in, drove to the house, and made two more trips from the house to the car to load all my work stuff. I almost made it off the property when at the gate she reappeared and attempted to run up and kick me. I no longer had my shovel but i was mad enough for the state she had left my dogs in that i could have just punched her so i got out and ran at her fists balled. She ran off. I unchained the gate and pulled the car through. She seemed satisfied once i had left the property and did not chase me further. I would have to deal with the rest of this problem when i came home from work.

My family in the city said, “cant you just shoot her?” I told them i was fairly sure you couldnt shoot nursing mothers with fawns. I was fairly sure they were protected for the longevity of the species. There were rules about that sort of thing. They said, “well cant you call someone to like relocate it if its being a menace or something?” I shrugged, “call who? Who is going to come to the woods to remove a deer doing what deer do, protect its baby?” It became apparent to me that the dogs would have to remain inside the house for the most part for the next two months. It was too hot for them to be outside much anyways. What bothered me was the deer thinking she had right to claim the property. Clearly her territory ended on the outside of my fence and she was pretty sure she had right to run me off my own property. Watering the plants, doing the chores, that was going to be a real pill for the foreseeable future. I was also worried about the state of the fawn. What if they had killed it? Why on earth otherwise would she be so spitting mad?

That afternoon i went home and checked everywhere. Satisfied that i saw not one sign of the fawn i decided there was absolutely no evidence they had harmed it in any way. I took Sili out to potty by herself. I had to carry her down the steps and wait nearby while she attempted to squat and pee in a half squat half stand. Then i carried her back into the house where she struggled to lay down. She wouldnt put any weight at all on her back left leg but as this was my cry over everything dog i wasnt rushinng her to the vet just yet. I would see if she had just sprained or aggravated something first and if it persisted i would get an x ray.

In the evening i heard barking and saw the deer going absolute bat **** nuts outside the dog pen. I went out to see the deer acting loco and became concerned that she appeared drunk and disorderly. I thought, “what if she has rabies and we’re just not to the stage of biting drooling or seizing yet?” I was beginning to be concerned that this behavior was not normal when i looked down and against the dog run fence saw the fawn, Oashni, perfectly intact.

It was doing just as mother said, hunkering down and embodying invisibility. I sighed. She wasnt rabid, just a mom. I took Cashew inside and left her to move the baby to a more ideal spot. The problem ended up being, no matter how many chances i gave her, she refused to move him/her to a more ideal spot. She wanted the baby in the area that smelled like the dogs, except without the dogs.

I ended up going to the city for a dentist appointment a day later where a family member handed me some of their pet cbd oil they had used for a dog who had cancer. They no longer needed it so they donated it to my poor girl Sili. Sili spent the next week dosed on cbd and living exclusively in the house with individual potty breaks supervised by me. The deer taunted her and she ignored it. She was thoroughly out of steam and she had learned her lesson about chasing deer. It ran back and forth. Sili just sat down with her leg kicked out to the side and watched it in uninterested silence. I took her inside.

With Sili out of commission and on bed rest in the house i would let Cashew out by herself. Well one afternoon i heard barking and i went out to see the deer running graceful and effortless circles, almost like a bounding rabbit, around the outside of the dog pen. Cashew was inside running the length of the 65 by 65 ft square dog run over and over and over. She was totally out of breath. I looked at the deer and the deer looked at me. I shouted, “stop running my dogs to death you *****. They live here.” Cashew was barking furiously now that she thought she had backup. I turned to her and said sternly, “sit. Wait. I’ll handle this. You wait.” Wait is the word she knows for stay, as she never did pick up the concept of stay, we went to the word wait as a plan b and it stuck. Cashew sat on her haunches and waited to see what i would do. I had brought the shovel with me. The deer was not interested in me as long as Cashew was there. She taunted cashew and ignored me. I watched as she ran her around and around in circles, exhausting her as she ignored my commands. I watched in silence for a few rotations, deciding on my plan of action. Cashew would have to go in the house. I would need to locate Oashni wherever she had him/her hidden in the grass, and i would put him/her in the car and drive him/her off the property, hopefully with mama in tow. I left cashew to her task of dying young while i opened the gate at the end of the driveway in preparation for this car ride. I then set up the car so that the front drivers side window was down, the door was cracked open, and the keys were in the cup holder. I returned to the dog run and grabbed Cashew by the collar. She was so focused on the deer she didnt even notice me and jumped in surprise as she realized i was dragging her away. I locked her in the crate in the house. I combed the woods on my property with shovel in hand. Occasionally the doe would rush me and i’d lift up the shovel to swing and she’d jump back to evade and wait a bit to do it again. As i combed every inch of my property looking for the baby i told the doe that when i found it i was going to move it and their time on the property was done. I told her if she was to take one of my dogs i’d take her baby and we could both explore the meaning of an eye for an eye. She didnt care. She was running on instinct and hormones and she was sure she was going to win. I knew what area it was in based on how pissed she got when i entered the area. However, try as i might i could not find him/her. Unfortunately, the fawn was the color of the dead leaves. I might have walked right past it but it never made a peep or gave itself away. The doe followed me and made runs at me for an hour while i searched. Finally, concerned i was running the battery of the car down with the interior light that kicks on when the door is ajar, i decided i had to go back to the house and tend to the car and other things i was supposed to be doing. I gave up. I was unable to find her fawn. I decided that the next time i found it would be the last time she saw it on this property. Id drive it half way to bandera with her following attacking the outside of the car and they could live where the car stopped.

The doe continued to pick her baby up and move it around my property. By the time i got the dogs put up she had squirreled it away somewhere. i never did get a good chance at snatching the baby. She continued to run Cashew until she dropped from exhaustion and she took the bait every time. Sili was living and recovering in the house. I spent evenings chasing the doe around the yard in the car to keep her away for half an hour so that cashew could potty. Eventually there were tire tracks worn in the weeds on the property where i had spent hours chasing her around in circles in return for her spinning my dog in circles. She did move Oashni. One night i told her, shovel in hand, that she didnt live here anymore and that if i ever got my hands on Oashni, i was going to break his/her neck. It was a bluff. I wouldnt have been able to harm a tiny baby that didnt ask for this turf war nor understand any of it. However, Sula did not know it was a bluff and she did not need to know. She took the baby and moved it off the property that night. She was gone for two days. On the third day in the evening she returned. She now does so every night, and every night i chase her off the property wielding a shovel. She waits until im two feet from her head and then takes off. She clearly would like to come back, but ive made up my mind. No more deer. The policy is non negotiable. At times i get sad when i see the little indents where sula and other deer used to lay around the shed, the orchard, or the chicken coop at night. However, crazy hormone time is and has been unacceptable. We cant risk more of this. The deer daycare is closed. No adults or babies allowed from henceforth. In the evenings when cashew tells me she’s here i get the shovel and chase her off. Sili has started walking normally again. She still cant make it onto the bed or jump. However, she can now do stairs. She gets cbd in her kibble twice a day and seems to have mostly made a recovery. Cashew is fine. No more deer. Oashni will have to grow up elsewhere. You cannot have the benefit of the coyote repellant without the animals that pee the coyote repellant you stupid deer.