Time Wasted

Yesterday was time wasted away from the homestead not mowing the grass, felling trees, filtering water, or cleaning out the shed. Yesterday was hours wasted speaking to attorneys, consumer affairs, the bank, and the sheriff’s office answering machine for the weekend non-emergency line…. Yesterday was me scanning and emailing documents to prove all the things i shouldnt have to prove. And today once again i was woken up by bill collectors, harassing me every few hours for the $25,000 ive already paid, threatening to take my vital 1.5 ton object and actively ruining my credit. I dont have another $25,000 lying around. They are going to have to recognize the one i gave them. Furthermore, the object does not cost $50,000. They are not entitled to the cost of the object twice. Why should they be? If they take the 1.5 ton object, i have no means of leaving my homestead and going to another city to work. If i cant work i cant make money to pay the mortgage on the homestead, feed the chickens, feed the dogs…. If i cant pay the mortgage the bank repossesses the property. How quickly everything can fall apart…. I did nothing. I didnt break any laws. I wasnt late on any payments. I didnt do anything illegal. I didnt break any rules. I didnt renege on any agreements. All somebody has to do is lie and i can lose everything.

Obviously i’ve contacted the appropriate authorities and an investigation has been launched. Theres nothing to do but continue to pursue the issue. Theres no reasonable alternative so that’s what i’ll continue to do. However, being a solitary individual who already was not extremely impressed with society…knowing that i can lose everything i worked for, everything i built, because one person decides they dont personally like me…knowing that so much has to happen before this can be fixed even though there is a blatant and clear paper trail to prove my position…knowing that they are not remorseful…i am struggling to understand how there is freedom, liberty, and justice for all in this country. I am struggling to understand what the point of being part of any of this is. If laws and contracts mean nothing, what is the point of following the rules? What is the point of working hard? What is the point of building something when anyone can just come and take it away?

I had so many things i was going to do today. As the bill collectors call again and again with nothing new to say and no will to listen or understand…my plans have moved from being productive to surviving. I need to make it through this week without turning to old vices or finding a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Right now my faith in the whole human system; society, law, human decency…is shaken. If i can get dressed today and make it to the dollar general to buy sugar free popsicles, that will be an accomplishment. Instead of mowing the lawn or editing my book, the plan is to eat popsicles and watch hours of mindless tv on my cell phone. I cant allow myself to think too much because if i really think about it, i dont want to be part of a reality where this kind of corruption and deceit is allowed to happen to those who followed the rules and kept their word.

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