This is what it has come to. Last night i slept in increments of 15 minutes for about six hours so that i could get up and stop her from taking the cone off, alligator death rolling, or swinging from the crate like a monkey on acid. It was really a two person job. One needed to sleep and the other to be on post surgery cat watch duty but there is only one person here, and so im all she’s got. I was so dead tired from my recent emergency trip to san antonio after work to spend four hours getting the oil and transmission fluids changed because the car company is whack and because the lifetime warranty for transmission and engine has conditions if i want to keep it. I told them i hit 35,000 miles a few days ago but i hadnt quite recovered from the flu and wasnt sure if they wanted me to bring it to them…they made an exception on the mileage count. I ubered to the grocery in SA and then ubered back to wait two additional hours for the car, because its always a four hour process regardless of the fact that one has to make an appointment. I got home after dark, did the chores, cooked, then went to bed at 11 and woke right back up at 1 am to get the homestead chores done and get myself ready to leave for work two cities away and this time the cat had to come with me because i was dropping her off at the equine vet to get spayed. The equine vet is by far the best experience i have ever had at a veterinary office. It was recommended to me by a coworker who has a herd of cows, as it is the vet he uses. They were so pleasant and reasonable to deal with and a major plus is that you get to see horses coming in for dental cleanings. They were very sweet with cricket. Instead of telling me i was crazy or extra they agreed to keep cricket in their kennel 1 extra day while i amazon prime shipped myself a cat cone for her head so she wouldnt lick the incision. They told me, “oh we dont have cones for cats. In our experience they dont need them. We use skin glue, not stitches, so the cat could only open the incision if it licks it.” I was silent for a moment before i explained that cricket spent most of the day licking herself and others and spent hours licking my hand while i petted her, and if ever a cat was going to lick it was going to be her. She was going to lick.” The cone arrived thursday afternoon. The postman, bless him, knows i work two towns away and stuffs every package he possibly can into my postbox cell, knowing that it would be very difficult for me to get to the counter during business hours to pick up a package. The cone was in the postbox cell, which was good because i was there at 8 pm. I went to pick cricket up after work on friday. I did all the grocery shopping in san antonio on thursday while the car got worked on so cricket wouldnt have to wait in the car while i did errands. We went straight home and she was fine for about four hours. The vet said she was acting like nothing ever happened and they werent even sure she knew she got spayed.
Well, she knows now. At the end of four hours it was like a switch went off and she became hell bent on opening that incision. She discovered her shaved belly and began licking and pulling at the incision non stop. I struggled to get the cone on her head because she wouldnt tear her tongue away from her belly long enough to put her head through. I did finally get it on her and then she began doing an alligator death roll to get it off. She would thrash all over the crate. So i put her in my lap and she tried to claw me to death and escape. So i went back and forth on whether she was doing more damage licking and biting her belly skin or thrashing all over the crate like an alligator. I decided she could do more damage with her mouth so i left the cone on her. She hates the cone. She whines and moans like she’s dying in pain but if you take the cone off she’s silent. I dont think she’s in pain. I think she’s pissed. The vet said the injection they gave her should give her 3 to 4 days of pain relief, by which time they estimate she wont need more. She is one pissed kitty. So the cone stays on. Well, that was the plan. She got real quiet at one point and i looked over and saw her head bent down to her belly and realized that she had hooked the cone on the side of the crate and then backed up to rip the cone off and get at her belly again. This is probably subconsciously why i waited until it was almost too late to spay her. She’s nearly six months old now. i remember it being a nightmare when each of the dogs got spayed. Its hard to keep them still. Its hard to keep them from taking their innards out. You dont get any sleep. You lose all your sanity. And you vow never to get a baby animal again. I didnt seek cricket. Cricket found me. There was a part of me that was unprepared mentally to do the suicide watch thing that one has to do after an animal has surgery. My brain was like, “aw man! I dont want to. I didnt sign up for this man!” But, after reading that cats could go into heat every two to three weeks for most of the year, i figured it was a must that she be spayed. Either that or i had to locate a tom cat with a stud fee because i was not going to deal with a cat in heat for most days out of the year.
Everything sounded wonderful when we left the vet. She was showing no signs of pain. She had been a model patient. I paid. We were out of there. Call if you have any questions. Just keep her from being wild or licking for 10 days.
Now we are here. If i give her room enough to snag the cone on something and hang, back up, or roll, she will. She will take it off and then get at that incision. It was once a nice tight line of perfect flat skin. Now its bumpy, wet, and the gray glue is showing through. She has messed with it so much it is not going to be neat and nice anymore. We will be lucky if it stays shut. So, instead of doing all the things i had planned for today (chores and cleaning in preparation for an install crew on Tuesday), cricket is in the pet taxi on the table in front of my rocking chair and i am staring at her, and thats what we’re going to be doing today. I have to take her to the litter box periodically to do her business. I have to help her drink with the cone on. I have to feed her bit by bit in a plastic spoon because she cant reach the bowl with her cone on. Every two seconds she is whining to be let out of the pet taxi and if i take her out she finds something to pull the cone off on. This cat and myself are either going to survive this or kill each other. My God if i could afford to pay them to take care of her for ten days following surgery, i would. This is not the bees knees. NOT.
Update: she is finally asleep. Silence. Im afraid to move. Cancel brushing teeth, cancel putting the noodles away, nobody move. Phone on silent. Let her nap. ****. ******************. The click of putting the phone on silent woke her up.
Update 2: She is back asleep. Nobody move.
